I’ve been really satisfied writing on this little website, mostly for one specific reason. Those who know me even moderately well know that I keep a lot to myself…as I’ve mentioned before. They know that I often try to maintain separate worlds and fronts in my life…with my friends, my work, my family, my politics, myself. I get really nervous at the idea of certain people knowing everything that I think or feel, for fear of putting them off or scaring them…but here, for the first time ever in my life is just my honest thoughts, and I have invited my friends, family, co-workers anyone to read it.
When I think about the feelings of it, it feels like growing up. This whole trip has felt like growing up. Maturing just a bit into a place where I can be comfortable with all of who I am, nerd, radical, sissy, intellectual, atheist, gringo…all of it…this is me and I love me, and I feel like here in this space I’ve become a lot more comfortable opening myself up authentically for other people to really love me (or not if they choose) too…something that is obviously really scary.
I hope to keep writing when I get home…I have all sorts of thoughts about games, about international and local politics, about my work and studies. I don’t know who reads this, and I tend to assume only Bri, Dave, Mom, Dad, and Chris…and then occasionally other people…and that’s kind of fun…because I really am not writing for you all. That stopped pretty early into my trip.
This is much more for me than for you…sorry.