Exhausted…

Another Friday evening. Got home from the high school a few hours ago, cooked some dinner, then mopped the kitchen floor. I’m tired.

And right now I don’t know why I do this.

Do you ever get that? I bet you do…those moments or days where you forget why you’re doing the work you do, why you’re living where you’re living, why you made all of the chains of choices that brought you to this point?

I think it’s really healthy to let reality unravel like that every once in awhile. Everything in moderation, and all that, but for me it helps remind me that this, my life, is just one of many possible lives, and that there are many other choices I could be making. It’s grounding, I guess.

Working at a high school, and being there to organize for social justice of all things, is just so tiring on every level. My body is tired. My back hurts. I’m perpetually sleepy despite almost always getting 8+ hours. I cherish my evenings and my days off like warm, golden honey. Even five minutes more on the snooze alarm is worth resnuggling into my bed for. Perhaps this is just the working life in general, but I’ve never felt it so strongly as this year, working this hard at this high school.

In other news…there is a lot happening in Ecuador…with 57 opposition senators being fired by the electoral commission or something for trying to stall the constituent assembly…and Chavez, as you probably know, made a tour across Latin America and the Caribbean in an effort to overshadow Bush–and succeeded. Chavez is actually on Barbara Walters tonight…check it out. Locally, the Tacoma Port protests have marched on, and I still would like to tell my story about that someday. It was weird to be there, with tear gas and weird sparkling fireworks things flying around me…and yet I was perfectly calm, just trying to help other people out, trying to keep people from running and panicking. Interesting bodily response, I thought.

There is so much that I still don’t share on this blog and I wonder when I will have the guts to break those silences.

One last thing: I believe that the next generation of activists will be much better at what they do than we are…and I think that we are actually pretty good.

I love all of you. Until next time.

OH AND PS:  Still having vivid dreams nightly.  Last night I was fishing  by hand for salmon in a creek.  It was kind of beautiful.

Currently Reading:

-Dispersing Power by Raul Zibechi

3 comments

fishing by hand for salmon in a creek…

Is that the Alaska equivalent of Okie noodling?

Did you meet any of the folks who came down to Tacoma from Bellingham? I was talking with somebody last night who thought they might have met you.

Yes, I met 3 or 4 Bellingham folks at the protest…they seemed nice and also well organized. I remember that as the cops were pushing us down the street, throwing smoking canisters at us, there were folks calling to eachother, “Bellingham!” “Bellingham!” and then they took off together…I was impressed.

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